Five Questions For Frank
Frank is such a cool friend, and I have known him for so long, but still, there were pressing questions for my friend that I just had to ask. So here, without further ado, are our most favorite five questions for Frank! (A little background - Frank lives in San Diego, loves Hall and Oates, has known me waaaay too long, and has an affinity for his Padres. Go, Frank!

Mariam: So, what's up with San Diego ? Tell me why you love it there (or hate it there, it's your call) ;)

Frank: Did you know they call San Diego " America 's Finest City ?" Well, they do. Why do they call it that? I dunno, you tell me. Anyway, it's been rainy here in " America 's Finest City " and I'm getting SICK of it! I think, and this is true, we've actually gotten more rain than Seattle . Did you know this? Well, if you didn't, you can read all about it and other stuff in my new book "Stuff Nobody Cares About. At All."

Mariam: You like Hall and Oates, don't ya? C'mon admit it, and tell me your fave song of theirs

Frank: You don't have to prod me (although if you WANT to prod me, I won't really complain...) I LOVE Hall and Oates! Do I need to hike to the top of a mountain and yell it out? No, I don't? Ok, good because that sounds like a LOT of work. To answer your question, it's hard to pick just one favorite song of theirs, but if you want to pin me down (again, I won't really complain) I'll go with "She's Gone."

Mariam: So, what do you like so much about this Mariam gal anyway? And what's with her having her own site? Is she like, some huge egomaniac or something?

Frank: Oh man, she is a HYOOOGE egomaniac. I was all, "Hey Mariam, what's YOUR favorite Hall & Oates song?" and she's like, "Mariam." And I was like, "Is that some kinda import or something? I've never heard of that tune." And she rolls her eyes and she goes, "No, you rube. 'Mariam' is 'Sara Smile' only instead of 'Sara Smile' I sing 'Mari-AM'. I'm also a fan of 'Mariam On My List', 'Mariam' (sung to the tune of 'Maneater') and (oddly enough) 'Italian Girls'."

Jeez. Last time I checked your name wasn't "The Sun" and the world didn't revolve around you! Of course, I'd never say that to her face. She'd have me rolled up in a rug and thrown off of a pier in no time. Anyway, the reason I like Mariam so much is because--when you can get her away from a mirror--she's very nice and sweet. Unless you're in her light. Then she's an absolute TERROR.

Mariam: What did you have for breakfast today?

Frank: I had an Apple Cinnamon Nutri-Grain bar. But to make up for that, I'll be having McDonalds for lunch. By the way, I believe this puts me in the record books as "First Male that's Ever Admitted Publicly to Eating a Nutri-Grain bar" so... thank you for giving me the opportunity.

Mariam: Tell us some good words of wisdom to take with us on our journeys, or at least until lunch

Frank: "Words of Wisdom?" That'd be like asking Mariam for "Lessons in Humility." But I WILL share some words that have gotten me through the tough times:

'Well the world don't move, to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you, may not be right for some. A man is born, he's a man of means, then along comes two, they got nothing but their jeans. But they got Diff'rent Strokes, it takes Diff'rent Strokes, it takes Diff'rent Strokes to rule the world.'

Touching, right? And true! I wrote that. I did! I've got such a way with words.